Guess Who Fuckin' Cares?!

A few days ago, I was trolling the Internet for movie information when I stumbled on the fact that Ashton Kutcher of Demi Moore, Punk'd, and That 70's Show fame is starring in a new movie with Bernie Mac. It's called Guess Who"a new comedy loosely based on the classic Sidney Poitier and Spencer Tracy film, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner." according to large and in-charge Okra Winfrey. Holy shit, she's such a douche! Wait a second, I can't decide who's the bigger feminine hygiene product, her for promoting it or Kutcher and Mac for agreeing to be in it! It's playing to mixed reviews and I shouldn't be so judgemental considering that I haven't seen but good God...Why would anyone even think about trying to re-create that movie? Seriously. It was Hep and Tracy's last film. It made serious commentary about race relations at a time when tensions were beyond heightened. The poignant speech made by Tracy's character toward the end of the film was ad-libbed! The dude was such a great actor that he spoke from his heart rather than follow the script. And it worked! If I'm not mistaken, Hepburn put her salary up as backing for the film because Tracy was so ill they didn't think he'd survive the filming. This was an incredible movie and to even think of re-making it is disrespectful. It just goes to show you that Hollywood has nothing original going on. They constatntly dip into old ideas and even classic cartoons in hopes of making a buck. I leave you with the words of Henry Rollins (who's still hot even w/gray hair) who's film review show is worth watching...

"Meet the Fockers?! I don't want to meet the Fockers. Fuck the Fockers, okay? The buck stops with you. Stop showing up. You are the ultimate green light!"
Henry Rollins, March 11, 2005

Inside Deep Throat

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Tops Never Stops Ripping You Off

If you know anything about Bah-flo, NY, you know that overall we have decent supermarkets. We'd better as there are a lot of large and in-charge peeps who are scared of vegetables and down with chemicalized food to supplement their chicken wings (pronounced in Buffalo parlance as "checken wahngs") beef on weck (aka beef on "wick", love the flat a sound around here) and pizza fixes. Nonetheless, I digress. Tops was an Italian owned supermarket that had a good inventory which included decent produce and in-house bakery products. Sometime in the 1970's Wegmans Supermarkets from nearby Rochester, NY invaded the Buffalo/Western New York area and gave homegrown Tops (aka Flops) a run for its money. Smegmans succeeded especially in light of the fact that the original owners sold out to a Dutch concern (Royal Ahold aka Royal Assholes) that has been having some scandalous issues. Smegmans produce, deli, and inventory kick total ass next to Flops. The personnel that works at Wegmans is a lot friendlier than most of the surly kids that I run into.
Tops along with many other businesses are looking for ways to reduce their costs. Eliminating staff and turning you, yes you the customer, into your own chief cashier has been one of their goals. If I have a major order, I wait for the surly kids to schlep it. If not, I do it myself and get the hell out of that anti-Christ bohemoth. Why do I go there? As much as I love me some Smegmans, Smeg's isn't centrally located. Flops is right near my place. Anyway, I decided to become a Flops employee on my way home last night. I bought some tomato sauce, cream cheese, and shredded pizza cheese and did the self checkout. I was cleaning up my place and just found the receipt. At the bottom it said, "I'm glad you shopped here today. Your Cashier--Whitney" As Mrs. Broflovsky from South Park would say "Wha?Wha?What?" Whitney didn't do shitney as far as getting my order out the door! She may have been supervising the four self checkouts but she didn't do squat in assisting. That's a total insult--they want you to be free labor and then they have the balls to say some skank ho who I didn't even see performed a service. Wrong! I hate that store and will return to Smegs asap!!

WMA Syndrome

No, what I'm writing about hasn't been diagnosed as a bona fide disease that you need to fear catching. Just be afraid if you're exposed to it. "WMA Syndrome" is a phrase that I've coined due to something that I've noticed over the last few years. "WMA" stands for Wipe My Ass. It's name was partially inspired by an old college prof who taught literature courses with life discussions on the side. He marveled over how individuals can be so helpless. One day he went off on a rant and said in a patronizing way "...this is how you you wipe your ass..." and made the hand/butt motion. It made me laugh and stuck with me. Anyway, now that I'm a real grown-up I get what Marv was trying to say. Here's how it works in my line of work reference librarian in a public facility. I am a public servant who is committed to assist our patrons in every way possible. Public libraries are one of the last institutions where everyone is treated equally and all that is required is to walk in and have a desire to learn. I take pride in helping people manuever in our catalog and databases. I enjoy teaching people how to fully take advantage of what their tax dollars pay for. What I don't enjoy is wiping their asses. Unfortunately, the consumer mentality is becoming entirely too pervasive. Examples of this include people who are looking for information about an involved topic and expect to find it neatly packaged and ready for them to grab off the shelf. Complex research isn't like shopping for a new outfit. It takes time and work on the part of the individual. Why is it that someone's expiring parking meter or typical "it's due tomorrow" deadline have to become my problem? Why do people feel that free computer use and Internet access means that a public library has turned into Kinko's/computer lab? You wouldn't believe how many people try to turn you into their lackey because they're unwilling to learn how to do something. God forbid you suggest that they look at books on using Microsoft Word. The library provides the tools, the user provides the expertise. Unfortunately, we can't spend intensive time teaching. It used to be easier when we could tell the public about free computer courses that the library offered. Due to Erie County's budget problems, those classes are no longer being held.
I just wish the peeps would take responsibility for themselves. I have enough to worry about.

Michael Jackson

All I want to know is when the trial is over, how about the kid's parents are charged and tried for allowing their child to sleep with a grown man? His parents are no better than the accused. To be fair and balanced, I'll let Michael tell his side of the story, please turn your audio on...

She's out on bail and out of jail and that's the way it goes...

Cane. Sugar. (insert bassline here)It's all for Grandmaster Flash & the Furious 5 and Melle Mel! If you haven't fingered it out yet, I'm talking aobut former Bahflonian Mothra Stewart. That's right, more shocking than her jail sentence is the fact that she started out in Buffalo, NY. The City's East side is where she lived until she was whisked away to an even better place...New Jersey. The East side is home to the old skool Polish community and Sister squirrelfriend is down with pierogies, da Broadway Market dere hey, and she's even had Vidler's 5 & 10 on her show. Now that I almost totally outted her--I would've included her Polish maiden name but I don't know it and I couldn't spell it if I did. Although she did commit a crime and lied about it, how about the Enrons and Halliburtons of this world? They made a big deal out of her and for that matter the Rigases who had shady dealings in Adelphia Cable but you didn't see the media circus around those friendly to the Bush folks (Enron, Halliburton, etc.). Despite her wrongdoing, I think the Bushies used her to divert attention from their friends. Her payoff is the lucrative deals that come from the notoriety and the public relations spin that kept her in the public eye when she was in the clink. Now Deborah Norville plans on discussing Martha's post-jail life by broadcasting her CNN morning show live from her Wrong Island, NY home on Monday. I think it's on in the a.m.--I don't have time to watch that crap when I'm hauling pussoir to work--Ugh! Let's hope Norville will do a segment on how she performs feminine hygiene chores with her ankle bracelet on.
While I'm on the subject of jailed corporate crooks, I found it rather funny that the announcement of Adelphia Cable becoming the first cable company to air triple X films on pay-per-view and it's subsequent decision not to do so, arrived to little fanfare. John Rigas, a staunch republican, dropped the "Spice" network five years ago because he found it offensive. The recent decision to be porn "pioneers" was due to the earnings potential of pay-per-view and video-on-demand and public demand. An Adelphia spokesperson said, "People want it, so we are trying to provide it. The more Xs, the more popular." They quickly abandoned this effort when the religious nutters chimed in against it. Adelphia was afraid they'd tarnish the already bankrupt company's image as it hits the selling block. Tarnished image=low profits. Nonetheless, I was tempted to write the local news rag and say that I'm not offended by porn and as an adult I choose for the most part not to watch it (cheezy and free Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee videos aside--thanks Paulie). What offends me is corporate heads who raid company funds to supplement their lavish lifestyles with the expectation that the stockholders pay for the bail-out. Rigas is a self-righteous douchebag.
Speaking of douches, here's a great article on Erie County government and how badly they mangled the budget situation.