Internet Abyss

It's almost the end of the month and I just realized that I haven't blogged. The most exciting thing that I've done is hit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland with Mike Rite and Fry. Full report at a later date as I don't want to fall into the abyss known as the Internet. Once I start surfing, I don't stop and I need to if I'm going to get anything accomplished before I sleep.

Have a Nice Day!

I know, I wrote in a previous post that I'd stay the hell away from Flops Communist Stupid Markets but what can I say? It's near my place.
I was driving through the parking lot when a silver SUV started backing out. I lightly tapped my horn. The SUV kept creeping out. I tapped my horn again. Still, it kept creeping out. I beeped, yet again and it kept coming. I'm sick and tired of these gas guzzling dick wipes who think they own the world because they have a vehicle that's as big as their ass. Typically these folks think that if they just keep backing out, you'll acquiesce and let them out. Not this time. I hit the gas and the horn and drove behind the offending SUV. I pulled into my spot. I intentionally park far from the door (unless it's freezing cold or rainy) so I can get some exercise unlike most slovenly peeps. The SUV driver looked in my direction as he manuevered out of his spot. I thought to myself, "bring it on motherfucker!" I was ready and I certainly wasn't going to be a pussy and hide in the car. I got out and walked toward the vehicle. The window unrolled and this yuppie cock looked at me with his best phony smile and said, "excuse me?" He thought that he'd have some fun with a typical, angry and probably hysterical female on the verge of a meltdown. I looked at him with my best fake customer service smile and said, "have a nice day, sir!" That's my standard euphimism for "fuck you" when some gives me a hard time at work and I can't really say what I think. Most of the time, I sincerely mean that phrase because most patrons are very nice. But I do reserve it for troublemakers. He replied, "you too, mam!", which made me wonder if he understood the true meaning of my nicety or was he stunned that I didn't blow up? He used "mam", which I find annoying because it has an elderly connotation to it. So I threw in a Saturday Night Live Total Bastard Airlines skit "Buh-bye" with all of the saccharine I could muster. Total douchebag!

Runaway Bride

With all of the real problems in the world it was no surprise that the mainstream media focused on another potential suburban-white-woman-killed-by-her-significant other story a la Laci Peterson. You must have heard about a Georgia bride-to-be who disappeared this week while out for a jog. Authorities,friends, and family were thrown into a tizzy searching everywhere while her fiance had to get lawyered up and take a private lie detector test, which he passed. Turns out she kicked it Greyhound style and when she contacted her family she tried to make up a story about "abductors" feeling the heat from media and letting her go. Within a half-hour that devolved into I had a freak out and needed time alone. Well, no shit! You only invited 600 people to witness your vows and the wedding party only added up to 28 attendants. I don't know if she had flower girls, ring bearers, or scripture readers. Were you having a wedding or a circus?! So many peeps are wrapped up in the show and don't think about the marriage. The reason for the wedding. I would love to know how much cash they wasted on a humungous wedding that was cancelled. Had she only known that New Mexico authorities would have provided this costume free of charge.