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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sirius Fun

Finally, my wait is over! After receiving my equipment, I installed my Sirius receiver at home. I'm a very happy camper, thus far. Of course Howard Stern's morning show is the main draw but I really enjoy the BBC News, World Radio Network, and C-SPAN along with the electronica and old skool hip hop stations. I'm even getting down with the Rolling Stones channel. I bought a plug and play model that has great alarm clock and game alert features. The latter is very handy for hockey fans such as myself.


The Stern show is so much better without 25 minutes of commercials and all of the censorious bleeps. It's compelling radio--very difficult to switch away from. Stern was a little harsh when he refered to Rachel Hunter as a crunt, but ulitmatley I think he was within his rights. She said she wasn't "camera ready" and didn't want Stern's film crew on her so she left. Wah, wah, wah! His assesment that she's nothing but an overweight, has been model who's famous for sucking the right dick (Rod Stewart's) was pretty spot on.



Howard 100 News is entertaining but only in very small doses because it is repetitive. I am really anxious to hear Crackwhore View , a parody of ABC's yenta-fest. I haven't really listened to Bubba the Love Sponge and I don't think I will. He's very mook oriented. Howard can get mooky but at least there's some intelligence buried in what he does. What little I've heard of Bubba, makes me want to wash. Anyone who eats poontang as indiscriminately as he does is just gross. Apparently, he was known for "chowing down" on porn stars while on the air. Just so you can get the flavor of what he does, here's an excerpt of his show from 1997. Suffice it to say this is probably a lot tamer than what he does now. Also, the excerpt can be found online via the FCC's Web site. Now you know why I love government information...

MV=male voice
M#=Male number

MV: I just want to make sure it's opposite sex, she's over 18 and you can be part of the Mile High Club for
Father's Day. Tomorrow we're going to have a plane a mile above the capa(?) terrain as Cowhead
reports live from a man getting some ass for Father's Day. And the only radio station that got the balls
to do something a little bit different.
M2: That's different.
MV: Also, some Bosch(?) power tools in the 9 o'clock hour and we'll do construction olympics again.
M2: Okay.
MV: I kind of like the construction olympics, did you know?
M2: Yes, they did.
M3: It's good.
MV: I like the guy with the nail gun, he was the best.
M2: Yeah.
M3: So far.
MV: (Sound of automatic nailing gun). Bringing back some old memories.
M2: Shooting some cats down there. (Sound of cat screaming).
M3: I'm nailing pussy right now. (Sound of cat screaming).
MV: If you're shooting a nail gun at a cat you would be considered that you were.
M2: Nailing some pussy.
MV: Nailing some pussy, wouldn't you?
M2: Exactly.
M3: Correct.
MV: Taking an automatic air gun and firing it at a feline would be slaying would be nailing pussy.
M2: Yes.
MV: Thank you. I'm just trying, you can say, you know.
M2: You're correct.
MV: What's a saying of, you know, smoking a joint, getting high, you know what I'm saying.
M2: Mm mm.
MV: Well, there's a saying for an automatic air, nail gun into a feline would be nailing pussy.
M2: Correct.
MV: And there ain't nothing wrong with nailing a little bit of pussy around here now.
M2: No.
MV: I love saying that that on the radio. You know, basically if you're
at a dead end of your life and you need to nail some pussy, become a construction guy, make sure you
do it near some cats, and get an automatic air gun.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Da Bills



Ah yes! The Buffalo Bills football team had a lousy season and made some managerial shifts in hopes of pacifying the stupified masses that build their lives around the team. Local media and even Yahoo News went nuts in announcing the changes--as if it were earthshaking news. Living in this town gets tiresome when it's non-stop Bills discussion year round. If a team member lets a loud fart during the off-season, a screen crawl appears on your TV set. The two charmers pictured above are from Rochester. They have some show about the team.

Pictured to the right is a group of our local TV sports gurus who pontificate about da Bills to people who generally know about nothing else. The photo is promoting some smelly Bills podcast. It's ironic that a medium such as television has to rely on old-fashioned radio based technology for impact on a potential audience.

As an NHL fan who occasionally discusses my enjoyment of hockey on this blog, I stand to get some shit about this criticism. But I also know that I try to be intellectually well-rounded and that my personal life doesn't depend upon the success of any local sports team. I flashback to the early 1990's when da Bills were contenders. If they won Sunday's game, the workplace was fairly festive on Monday morning. If they lost, woe be to you if you went on with your life and didn't join the coffeeklatch/pity party. The only time these morons notice the Buffalo Sabres is when the team is doing well. I hope they find something else to do and leave hockey out of it.

I've always said that no one should be in downtown Buffalo the day that the Buffalo Bills team is sold and heads for Los Angeles. That's because of the jumpers from the tallest buildings. Sorry to say that City Hall is out of the running. It became secure after Robert Leroy Wayne Jackson succeeded in 1976. Jackson plummeted some 300 feet before impaling himself on the flagpole over the building's entrance.

 
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