Alvin and the Chipmunks

As some of you know, I have a "Little Sister" who I mentor. She's a cool kid who doesn't ask for much so when she said that she wanted to see Alvin and the Chipmunks, I put aside my preconceived notions and took her. It was a suburban movie house filled with kids and parents, many of which were in my age bracket. Overall, not a bad movie--I was actually pleased to know ahead of time that Arrested Development's David Cross (Tobias Funke) was in the film. I must be the only one who knows his work because he had several subtle lines in Alvin and I was the only one who laughed. Does having kids eliminate your sense of sophisticated humor? Or maybe they were never sophisticated in the first place....

Don't Tase Me at Worst Buy, Bro!

The catchphrase of the year is..."Don't Tase Me, Bro" as uttered by a Florida college student who had the audacity to question former Presidential candidate and current Senator, John F. Kerry about his Skull and Bones membership. I don't have statistics but tasing is getting out of control. If you fart in public, look out! You'll be tased for your crop dusting. The latest tasing went down at Worst Buy. Check it! Daytona, Florida Police say they were within their rights to tase a customer! She left the store to taking an upsetting cell phone call and her behavior was reported as suspicious. She returned only to be confronted by police who promptly tasered her for doing nothing! Incredible. What is this world coming to?

The Kids are Not Alright...

The increasing frequency of child predators using the Internet to find prey gives one pause. The latest case centers around a 48 year old pig who lured as many as 16 underage girls to send him pictures of their goodies. He's accused of using myspace and posing as a hot 20 year old guy who advertised that he was looking for "dirty girls who like doing dirty things". When some started balking, he issued threats of telling their parents, posting photos online or posting them at school.

So many issues and not enough time... Technology can be a lifesaver at most and a great convenience at the very least. But in the hands of the wrong people i.e. perverts and BRATZ generation kids who have no concept of privacy and think porn star is an attainable career, it's dangerous. Parents don't question the fact their kids are being marketed to. They don't mind that their kids are over-commercialized and supersized, because it makes them just like dear old mom and dad. A kid with too much technology, too little guidance, and too many hormones is prime pickings for a scummy 48 year old cafeteria worker.

The perpetrator is definitely wrong and disgusting, if he is guilty of what he's accused of. However, the girls' parents are not blameless. They should be taken to task for not supervising them and for not effectively educating them about protecting themselves and their privacy. There have always been dirtbag Chester Molester types but technology brings them into your environment and allows them access to your child. No more stalking kids in public! Chet knocks back some Genny screamers and generic cigs while he's plotting to victimize your kid.



Here's what I'm pondering...why are adults infantilized and why are kids being dressed and treated as mini-adults and given expensive electronic accessories?

I think we should have classes called, "Do Not e-mail or Electronically Publicize Your Cooch, Snatch, Dick, Giggleberries, Boobies, or Bunghole until You're at Least 18 Years Old". This should be taught starting at about 5th grade. Furthermore, how about asking these kids to think into the future? Do they really want memories of their 15 year old beavers being ogled by their 12 year old sons when they discover some "vintage" porn? Good fucking grief!

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Now playing: The Modern Lovers - Pablo Picasso
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Stub Hub!

I entered the "lottery" to buy Ice Bowl or NHL/AMP Winter Classic tickets. I was notified that I didn't win. I opted to buy the HSBC party tickets, which were cheaper and warmer. Essentially, you get to watch the game that's being played at Ralph Wilson Stadium between the Sabes and the Penguins (Penguins is practically chickens--scroll down, look for Hobo) in the arena. Anyway, I was notified that they found extra tickets and that I did win. I almost gave them to my hockey nut, fartin' cousin but then I thought...this bitch is pretty much sold out...get money! Within an hour, I sold my tix for almost four times what they were worth. Awww yeah! Some sucker from Chicago bought them even though they were obstructed view. I said so up front. Reading is fun-da-mental!

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Now playing: Urge Overkill - Sister Havana
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