Channeling My Inner Barf Bag

Tim Russert has been discussed ad infinitum. Some people are still recovering. For example, the local NBC affiliate's Scary Hairless Dumbell. I refuse to give her real name for promotional purposes even though mine is just a little unread blog. She's a former Miss NYS who dated a local news anchor and parlayed a radio news gig into an anchor job. As George Carlin would say, she's just a pile of clothes reading a teleprompter. However, in her defense, the television news industry has gone so far into the abyss that shlocky local yokels who look anchorish have a chance to thrive. I wonder if she'll hit the plastic surgery route as age and estrogen loss reveal that her better days are behind her. I don't normally follow what she does but occasionally I drop by for laugh. Read her "Channeling My Inner Russert" and get ready to puke. To paraphrase Senator Lloyd Bentsen, honey, you're no Tim Russert. But then again, a lot of people thought he was a tool for the Man so maybe in your own little way, you are.



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Tops v. Wegmans

*Cease and desist this, douchebags!

I'm of your demographic--female, over 30 but under 60 years old. I've written to you in past to express my displeasure but you basically ignored me with your pat answers. My complaints were in reference to the bogus self-checkout and the lawn furniture and other assorted crap that gets in the way of me and my feedbag. The *only* reasons that I still venture into your store is that it is about a mile away from me and your Bonus Card/Spy Shopper cards allow me to accrue points so I can save *a little* off of my gas bill when I pay to pump gas at your filling stations. But those points don't accrue continually, which I think is downright bullshit and does nothing to promote customer loyalty. Not that you care about that.
My heart really belongs to Wegmans aka "Smegmans". Smegs rules. Hands down! How do I love thee Smegs? Let me count the ways:

1. Although your newer stores are insanely behemoth, overall your presentation, abundance of product, and lay out are great.
2. Your cheese shops, deli, produce, and take out are the shiznit! Everything is attractively presented, fresh, and tasty.
   
3. Your international wares rule. I learn so much when I shop at Smegs. Who knew that Israeli feta is better than Greek or even French feta cheese?
4. When I leave your stores, I feel as if I have lots of great stuff to make and/or try when I get home.

I could go on and on but you get the point--quality merchandise that looks and tastes great. I spent about $130 (for one person's week or so worth of groceries) but I found so many unique items. Some were organic so they cost a little more. Every penny that I spend there is worth it. Tops quality is sorely lacking. Their deli sucks ass. I know when I order take out at Wegmans that it always tastes good. There's no self-check out at Smegs. Their peeps are proactive and make sure the lines are moving.

I should know better than to shop mid-morning on a Sunday but I can never get to Wegmans. It's just not close enough to burn the gas. But today I had an excuse--I had to visit Bed Bath and Your Uncle and BJ's. Both are pretty close to Smegs. It's a huge store and they give you equally gigundous shopping carts. This makes maneuvering around big Buffalonians a tough task. Smegs offers free samples. Great--but the trouble is the mooches clog up the aisles and get in my way. They're a lot more into the seasonal merchandise than they used to be. I wish they'd just stick to food and beverage. Trader Joe's is awesome because they have high quality without the lawn furniture. Kudos to them, I wish they were here.

Wegmans is a real WNY treasure. I realize they are now located in several other states. As long as the quality remains the same, it's all good by me. Tops is like that nasty neighborhood girl that guys befriend just to get some in a pinch. Not much in the way of quality but it'll do.

p.s. sidebar--I saw Jodi Johnston from Ch. 2 at Smegs. Her son was pushing a cart and I saw this atypical tall thin woman not far behind. I looked at her with that puzzled "Where do I know you from?" face. Then it clicked and it clicked again as I realized that I haven't watched Ch. 2 news in years!!
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Bioterror Blunder Explained

I caught the Hallwalls exhibit of Seized which closed yesterday.
It documents the trials and tribulations of University at Buffalo art professor Steven Kurtz. Long story short Kurtz's wife died very unexpectedly in May 2004. What should have been a very routine police call spiraled into nearly four years of nightmarish accusations. Kurtz is also a founding member of the award winning art and theatre collective, Critical Art Ensemble. When the police entered his Allentown neighborhood home, they found a small lab set up. It was to be part of an upcoming CAE exhibit. Authorities warned him that the F.B.I. would want to speak with him. The next day while on his way to make funeral arrangements for Hope, his wife, the F.B.I. detained him for 22 hours, without charge, on the suspicion of "bioterrorism". They searched his home and took several thousand dollars in equipment and other materials (most of which were never returned). They donned Hazardous Materials suits while searching his place as the TV cameras rolled (photo to the left). His home was cleared of containing any dangerous substances. The lab had non-lethal bacteria that was used in his art. Hope Kurtz died of natural causes. Kurtz and a co-defendant, Dr. Robert Ferrell, Professor of Genetics at the University of Pittsburgh School of Public Health, were charged with wire and mail fraud for sending $256 in ordinary bacteria through the mail. Ferrell, due to ill health, took a plea deal. Kurtz stayed the course and the indictment for mail and wire fraud was ruled "insufficient on its face" by the presiding Judge Richard Arcara in April, 2008. The feds decided not to appeal that decision. When their appeal time ran out, Hallwalls displayed the exhibit.

It was small but effective. The main room played a video that had ominous music as clips for local and national newscasts recounted the story. The drama of the hazmat suits was the focal point. It culminated with a clip from the film Strange Culture, a docudrama that tells the Kurtzes' story. Oscar winner Tilda Swinton, plays Hope Kurtz. The clip shown was of a someone receiving a subpoena and filming the Feds who were presenting it. The center of the room featured the infamous pizza boxes and Gatorade bottles that welcomed Kurtz when he was finally allowed into his home. They trashed the place and locked his cat up for days on end without food and water. Bean left scratch marks in the room that she'd been locked in. (She's okay, I think they moved her to Canada for safekeeping). Other debris such as rubber gloves and a hazmat suit surround the pizza box tower, which was almost 5 feet tall. "The Willilam J. Hochul Freedom Library" was of great interest. A small shelf of books that the feds confiscated from the Kurtzes' home. They are as follows:

• Anarchist Cookbook (a perennial "what if" title in library school intellectual freedom discussions)
• Bioterrorism: Guidelines for Medical and Public Health Management by D. Henderson, M.D.
• PDR Guide to Bioterrorism and Chemical Warfare Response
• Yellow Fever/Black Goddess: the Coevolution of People and Plagues by Christopher Wills
• Biological Warfare:Opposing Viewpoints
• Understanding Germ Warfare (from the editors of Scientific American)

Sorry to ramble but the titles listed above can be found in many public libraries. Maybe they should waste our tax dollars more than they already do and seize all copies available! Kurtz's work shows that funding is being wasted on funding biological weapons. Testing shows it is rather ineffectual. He also shows the dangers of genetically modified food. Because it looked weird and the government types didn't get it, they turned his life upside down. I hope he can move on and continue with his art.


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via FoxyTunesTeddybears Feat. Daddy Boastin' - Ahead Of My Time
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Random Musings

Thanks to the Obamas for instituting the "Terrorist Bump" (pictured above w/Zan and Jayna, Gleek couldn't make the photo op). As a librarian, I'm often offered a handshake from grateful patrons, and I usually wonder where that hand has been. A former Attica inmate gave me the option for the bump so I took it. His fingernails were on the long side and he smelled boozy, which made his hands' whereabouts questionable.

Buffalo sports fans are mostly slovenly. I realize every city has its guilty parties but ours are egregiously so.

Thanks to the lady who was walking near the Lake Erie waterfront. The circumfrence of each of her thighs equaled that of my torso, which made my thighs feel half way presentable in shorts.

Scream at the Librarian: Sketches of Our Patrons in Downtown Los Angeles by Joel J. Rane is an entertaining read of the dark side of librarianship. I'd love to give this to starry-eyed recent M.L.S. graduates. I never thought I'd relate to Rane's rants but I do and I'm a member of his cheering section. People's manners deteriorate over time and as public servants we're expected to put up with a lot. I've been to the Los Angeles Public Library in downtown L.A. Lots of eccentrics, homeless people, or both. Rane's angst is accurately portrayed as annoying patrons know no geographical boundaries.

I've sworn off Craigslist. I became overly involved in pointless debates. You can't educate people in a Craigslist forum. I already knew that but boredom elicits hope.



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I Heart Craigslist

Yes, I use it primarily for cheap laughs--to take the pulse on the corpse known as Baaaaflo. Here's a classic example of what's available in the dating world. This poster claims he's 28--looks closer to 38.He has the same suspect, angry look in every photo. Got to love the following description:

I'm looking to meet a good looking/attractive woman (between 18-45)for some fun and excitement(friends with benefits)and whatever may follow.Let's talk and get acquainted, and possibly meet for a drink.I do ask that you provide a photo(or 2). I have several photos of myself posted here on my ad. Aside from that,I'm ex-Army,5'8" tall,royal blue eyes,tan,athletic build,171 pounds,cleancut,and carry a nice package(7+).Drop me a line if interested.

I'm glad he took the time to measure his package. Most women want to know if a guy's packing heat before they even know him--gross. The promise of fwb is just too good to be true. Contact Private Gomer Pyle at the link above if interested.

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