Separated at Birth?

I saw a write up on awfulplasticsurgery.com commenting on David Coverdale of Whitesnake's feminine looks. The photo made me think of Kristy McNichol so here's her photo.
You'll have to hit APS's Web site to see Coverdale, his chiclet teeth, and femimullet since they've disabled the photo capture option.
Love that site but that's so pricky. Yeah I know about copyright, I'm a librarian, but have these people ever heard of derivative non-profit use? I prop the site in my writing and I link to them, what's the dilly yo?

Han Solo

Okay, what's up with the mispronunciation of Irish last names? Seriously. I keep hearing "Lindsay Lo-han" and "Cindy Shee-han". Since when? My Lucky freakin' Charms say it's "Lohan" one syllable. Same deal with Sheehan. I'm no linguist but shouldn't that H be silent? What about a name like McGhee? Should it be Mc Gee Hee? Not!

If you're an Ipodder, check the celebrity mixes. Smelly Tommy Lee has a playlist. What scares me is that he's into Basement Jaxx and Peaches, just like me and my homies. He's also into Massive Attack and he even likes the same Beasties Boys tune that I do ("So Whatcha Want?").I was hoping he'd choose that lame ass rap tune he was playing while plowing Pamela Anderson's tuna. "It's all good..."

















Btw, pre-season hockey starts one month from today...awwwwww yeah!

Stupid Spoiled Whore

...video playset, let everyone see your co-oo-ooch! I scored a 253 on only one cup of coffee. Stop Paris Hilton videos from reaching the public.
I attended the Eden, NY cornfest with McRite and Dookay, frootloops from the southtowns. It was a nice evening and definitely a bonus for people watching. Lots of pizza eatin'WNY types. For a festival that was supposed to feature homegrown corn, it felt more like a prelude to the Erie County Fair with all of the greasy bloomin'onions, fried dough, and sugar waffles! I managed to find a canoli truck. Russ's Pastries from the west side of Buffalo, rule. Anyway, toothless wonders and carnies were well represented. The bigguns wandering the grounds made me feel svelte.

Buffalo NY Economics

I'm sorry to say I missed Buffalo & Erie County Public Library's Board meeting and public hearing on Thursday. Thankfully, roving reporting Mike Rite from Channel Screw U was on the scene. He files this report...

"My favorite speaker was a black woman who said "a person with a house valued at $50k pays about $30 a year for the liberry. That's the cost of 2 large pizzas with 2 toppings."

The speaker failed to say if the price quoted is with or without a coupon from the Pennysaver. She also neglected to say whether or not a side order of chicken wings and a 2 liter of "pop" (pron. paaahp) is included. You've got to love Buffalo economic logic--putting things in terms that the obeast populace can understand.



The Library Board discussed its four year plan that will close 20 libraries and lay off about 100 workers. Libraries will see a 20% budget reduction for the rest of the year. Final plans will be revealed at the end of the month.

Today is my day off. I ran errands and had time to hit Wegmans aka Smegmans. It's a righteous supermarket from the Rochester, NY area. I t has all of the staples with an amazing selection of produce, deli, meats, and cheeses. There are a few gourmet supermarkets in the NYC area that are reminiscent of it but the prices down here are a lot better. That's why Buffalo peeps are so large and in charge. Anyway, I visited the West Seneca/South Buffalo location. As I wandered through the produce area, I spotted a rather goofy looking guy with reddish/gray hair and dork chic spectacles.
He had a rather empty headed smile and was cruising my hooters despite the fact that they were modestly displayed. Any woman around here who's under a 150lbs is considered anorexic and cruisable. I was a little curious because he was a bit unusual and he looked familiar. He looked very typically mick--gangly build,long arms, middle aged pot belly starting to form. (Btw, I'm one to judge as I'm of the mick persuasion.)
Well faith and begorrah, if it wasn't U.S. Congressman Brian Higgins! I wanted to get on his shit for a few recent votes e.g. the House bill on the Patriot Act and the Terri Schiavo business. But I didn't want to accost him in the lettuce section. His cousin cuts my hair so I'll find out what's the dilly with the Tommy Tutone hair. My second politician sighting in just over a week! Check out these comments on the Buffalo Beast blog regarding Higgins, very funny! Just scroll toward the bottom and read from "Let's move on to the world of politics..." (Special thanks to roving reporter Mike Rite for that link)

Back in the NY Groove

I spent a lovely three day week-end with funky fresh Paulie Paul and Pavs. I needed a breath of fresh air and a little culture. Mission accomplished. It's getting late and I have lots to do so here's the highlights. The Coco Chanel exhibit at the Met is winding down. It's worth seeing. Her work is truly timeless. Matisse: The Fabric of Dreams was very nice. An interesting marriage of art and textiles.

We took a field trip to Williamsburg, Brooklyn . We stopped at a gallery,Brooklyn Industries (hip clothing store), and a great bookstore. This kitty was cold chillin' near the postcards.

We strapped on our feedbag at several great places including my favorite cupcake shop, Magnolia. White cupcakes with blue frosting are to die for! We were on hand for the last night of Osno's, a Williamsburg restaurant with a Middle Eastern flavor. I had their last Morroccan beer, yum! That's about as close as I'm getting to Morrocco for the time being. Osno's is moving to a better location and should re-open shortly.

I found out from the boys that the monument at Washington Square Park was recently cleaned. It looked quite striking as you can see.



Look carefully for cheesy tourists at the bottom of the photo. If it's not already obvious, I'm giving my digital a workout. Props to my boy McRite for techie support.

Guess who was on my flight to NY? Ned Regan, former State Comptroller and Erie County Executive. He's been chosen to head the Erie County (out of) Control Board. Read why he scares me in my first story for WNY Media Network.

Just to be super obnoxious, here's a photo of my cat who totally rules!

Shul of Rock

I actually came across something useful and amusing in the Buffalo News. Of course it was a wire story. Anyway, the dreidel will rock, rock on!

Judas Priest

Hang on tight kids--this is a rough ride! While surfing one of my favorite blogs Veiled Conceit, I stumbled on an interesting theory. The VC blogger accuses John Roberts,the Supreme Court nominee, of being a Judas Priest fan and links to a video documentary that purportedly shows Roberts repping his fave metal band. I don't know if any of this true or just a weird coincidence. This film was made in 1986 in the Washington, DC area. It is a complete scream. The cheezy fashions and hair don'ts are priceless. If you grew up in the 80's, it's a must-see trip down memory lane. I attended an anonymous high school in Cheektowaga, NY and it was all for the heavy metal. God help you if you liked anything else. I dabbled in all kinds of music but was down with new wave by the end of my high school career. Anyway, two guys who I graduated with were hardcore Judas Priest fans. I thought of them and laughed after lead singer Rob Halford publicly acknowledged that he is gay. Something tells me they've renounced him. I applauded him. Mad props to my high school partner in crime and MR, heavy metal frootloop from the Southtowns!
John G. Roberts was born in Buffalo, NY. His father was employed as an executive by Bethlehem Steel and had the good sense to bolt before things got rough for the rank and file in the '70's.

Geography Lesson

One of my biggest complaints is that Americans (especially my fellow Bahfalonians) have little understanding of global issues. It's probably because they don't know where things are. I stumbled on this link and tested my knowledge of European geography. I got 28/45 correct or about 62% with an average error of 151 miles. I did this test in 8.5 minutes. Not the greatest score but the software isn't exactly forgiving. I had an itch on my mousing knuckle and accidentally put Germany in the wrong spot. Consequently, I lost points. Granted, after awhile it's a process of elimination but nonetheless it was eyeopening. I need to get down with some geography. It's a cool site that has lots of other games. Check it out.

2 @ Your Library

Locally, the Buffalo & Erie County Public Library Board of Trustees unveiled its tentative closure/consolidation plan. No surprise considering the fiscal mess the County is in. For now, I'll address local media coverage of this issue.



I don't watch much local TV news. The reason being is that their coverage is so poor. Local print and radio isn't much better but at least I'm spared the visual hairspray and eyeshadow presentation from local himbos and bimbos. Nonetheless, WGRZ-TV provides aggressive coverage of Erie County's budget crisis. They've done some commendable work but they've gone overboard with their cheesy "redcoat brigade". A few months ago I was crossing the street on Delaware Ave. not far from the TV station. Outside stood several of their "investigative" reporters all decked out in these bright red coats with the lastest edition of their logo. They were getting ready for a "live shot" and the costumes seemed to say, "We wear red coats, we're working hard and we're guarding the taxpayers' rights." Whatever. Just report the bloody story instead of looking like you're ready for the Mickey Mouse club roll call. The other stupid move they've made is their "Taxpayers Weblog". Puh-leeeze, it's a bulletin board. Stop abusing terminology in an effort to make your station look technologically hip and to make your viewers/online visitors feel like they're cutting edge. It is a bulletin board not a blog. There is an inherent difference between the two. Here's the definition of a blog from Webopedia:

(n.) Short for Web log, a blog is a Web page that serves as a publicly accessible personal journal for an individual. Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.


Compare that to Webopedia's definition for a bulletin board system:

An electronic message center. Most bulletin boards serve specific interest groups. They allow you to dial in with a modem, review messages left by others, and leave your own message if you want...

After reviewing the "Taxpayer Weblog" link, which term do you think is correct? Multiple authors contribute to a space that serves a specific interest group--Erie County taxpayers. Smells like a bulletin board to me.

It's just a place for the ignorant peeps to vent. Check out this piece of retarded wisdom from Tony in Lakeview:

"Library closing a step in the right direction. The tax saving is great. If there is anyone in the within a certain distance of a library named for closing flag his tax record on the computer. Give them a exclusive access to that library and tax only them for that library."

Hey Tony, first off learn how to write. Secondly, "exclusive access" and "public library" are oxymoronic terms. Why don't you just send people to a bookstore? It's publicly available but unlike a public library, only those who can afford to buy items can leave with books, etc. Maybe students can prepare their school reports or study for exams in the aisles of Barnes and Noble.

Whatever happened to providing intellectual resources for the public good?

Are We Not Men?

T-I-V-O! Commerical saturation and the DVR's fastforward capabilities are making advertising agencies have strokes according to this article. How long will it be before someone messes with the technology so we're forced to sit through commericals?

The NHL has a tentative contract that needs ratificiation from both sides. That should happen next week. Then it'll be back to my regularly scheduled throwdowns on ice!

A Day at the Laundromat

Holy trailer park Batman! I had to go to the laundromat this morning. The dryer in my building is "broke" as the sign says. It's evident the property managers are English majors. Anyway...It's been that way for a few days. I could've used a machine in another building but to be honest with you, I'm tired of feeding "the man" my dough for lame ass tenant service. I really resent schlepping my stuff from building to building and paying for the privilege. So I hauled my styx to the laundromat, which is a 5 minute drive from my place. I live in a well-to-do lily white community so you can imagine what dregs of the universe hang at the 'mat. As I cased the joint, I spotted a trailer mom, complete with a tatoo on her calf. She was smoking outside and accompanied by her young daughter. Can anyone say "Brandine"?



I ventured inside and was greeted by a few scaggy eyed Kirk Van Houten types--you know the kind, single or divorced, sorry assed dudes who probably have alcohol, financial, and other sundried problems that you want nothing to do with. Of course I caught the eye of a least a couple of them despite my efforts to be aloof and disguise myself with sunglasses. The machines were the same price as the ones in my building but the capacity seemed a bit larger. Hmmm...I wonder if this was a misperception on my part or if I confirmed that the landlord is trying to make tenants do more loads for profitability's sake. I loaded the machines and bolted. There was no way I was parking my dupa there for the long haul as the atmosphere was rather demoralizing and depressing. The skeevy dudes didn't make things any better. On the upside, I didn't give extra money to my cheap ass landlords. Laundry is a built-in scam in this complex. Also, I saved a little scratch but not when you factor in the cost of gas.
Overall, this experience just solidifies my need to invest in some real estate so I can do my laundry with a sense of privacy/dignity and not worry about having enough quarters to take care of biz. You see, the management provides washers/dryers but no change machines. Assholes.

Cloggers

What can I say? Guilty on some counts and this dude is beyond funny...

London Calling...

I'm so sorry that Londoners are a part of the terrorism daisy chain. I'm sure some of this has to do with the fact that they're standing by this country in the quest for oil. As you know, I'm on vacation this week so I started off by checking the BBC's online feed. I was able to listen to a live press conference but not wanting to spend all day on the computer, I opted for local radio coverage. Rahspeck as Ali G would say, to WBFO, which stuck with the NPR feed until noon. WNED-AM gets big ups for airing the BBC World Service for a good part of the mid-day. WBEN-AM can suck it for sticking with Rush Limbaugh rather than interrupt his drivel with a network news feed. Since hasbeen pop stars who sleep with children weren't involved, then it couldn't be a real story. Anyway, what used to be a respected news source is nothing but FOX News Radio lite. I couldn't get over how uninformed the morning team seemed to be. A major international story goes down 2 hours prior to their shift and they were very lackadaisical about it.They relied on the network to cover them and prattled on about local bullshit that paled in comparison to today's events. Hence no hot linky for those bolsos del douche.
Here's my question--London is heavy on security candid cameras--where were they when this happened?
The U.S. Navy band played God Save the Queen outside of the British Embassy in Washington. That was only fitting.

Design of Dissent

I love vacation. You actually have time to rock out, take care of biz, and relax. I worked the TiVO (are we not men? T-I-V-O) last night and watched PBS's NOW. What a great show, even without Bill Moyers. David Brancaccio featured Milton Glaser and his Design of Dissent exhibit at the School of the Visual Arts in Chelsea. Unfortunately, this brilliant display of subversive advertising may have already closed. I hope not, it deserves to be seen. If you haven't seen this show, try to catch it online. Milton Glaser is a genius.
I can't believe the Corporation for Public Broadcasting would even try to deny PBS funding. Thankfully, pressure from the peeps put at least a temporary stop to that.

Time off

Photo courtesy of Mike Rite

I'm waiting for my floor to dry--I know, what a way to spend vacation--when I came across this blogged gem. A fun entry that I'm sure was adapted from e-mail about another locality. A lot of truisms in it, nonetheless. I loved the South Buffalo and Lexington Co-op Barbie descriptions.
Tom Cruise, he's so dreamy...bwahaahaaa!

Happy 4th of July!

While waiting for my water to boil for a righteous cup of joe, I read today's Dear Abby online. She discussed what should be done if a U.S. flag is no longer in good condition. As my girl scout cousin told me years ago, one is supposed to burn the flag if it is poor condition or if it has touched the ground. How ironic. The former is confirmed by the elaborate Ceremony for the Disposal of Unserviceable Flags conducted by the American Legion. Congress passed House Joint Resolution 10 which calls for an amendment to the Constitution authorizing Congress to prohibit the physical desecration of the U.S. flag. Click here to see how your Congressman voted. Mine is a douchebag as he voted in favor of this bullshit. Congress can't get over the fact that the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Texas court decisions in 1989 and 1990 essentially saying that expessive 1st amendment behavior trumps State flag desecration laws.
In these oppressive times, our country needs first ammendment protections. A viewpoint may be unpopular but peoople should have the right to express themselves. Back in the day, myself and lefty pal Fry attended a College Music Journal conference and we had the privilege of meeting plaintiff Gregory Lee "Joey" Johnson from Texas v Johnson (1989). We congratulated him and shook his hand. Unbeknownst to me until now, famed civil rights attorney William Kunstler represented him--how cool was that? Anyway, on this Independence Day, I feel as American citizens we should be able to have an independent state of mind. Tomorrow, give your Senator a call and urge them not to cooperate with the redneck mentality and the threat it poses to the 1st amendment.

Happy Anniversary!

Yes, it's been one year since I've started writing this occasional blog. While it's not widely read, I know some of my peeps read it, shouts out to you! As a special treat, here's a link to Henry Rollins rant from a few months ago. He rightfully criticized the mainstream media because they cover infotainment but they don't cover things like oh, I don't know, the fact that we're still in Iraq after "Mission Accomplshed". Click on this link and choose "Pop Cult"

Michael Jackson

Okay so I'm a little late chiming in on this but...MJ found not guilty on all counts. Not because the jury thought he was innocent but because legally they can't pin anything on him and they don't like the alleged victim's mother.
A few observations...Michael, do as your attorney has promised and step away from the little boys. I realize the freak has issues but he has to be mentally retarded if he doesn't understand that little boys and adults shouldn't sleep together. Not only is it a cultural taboo but considering your wealth, it's akin to painting a bullseye on your back and begging to be sued. Join NAMBLA, it's a lot easier and a little more honest. Victim's mother...you're a skanky piece of white trash. What sane person allows their child to sleep with a grown man just because he's a celebrity and has money? Shame on you, you scummy pig. People who wasted their lives and maxed out their credit cards--imagine all of the good things you could've done had you donated your free time to charity? It's over. MJ doesn't care about you. Go home and get a life.
All that being said, could we get back to our regularly scheduled program? There's a war going on, remember?

Jack Mehoffer

Buffalo along with several large cities has fallen victim to the "Jack" format. Ugh! Another cheesy gimmick created to try and retain the few music radio listeners that are left. As someone who has worked for the medium, let me congratulate the despardoes that instituted this piece of crap. It's an attempt to mimick people's Ipods by playing seemingly random music. A station ID is dropped in periodically to reflect some faux snarky attitude. Give it a rest. How stupid do these programmers think we are?! People are seeking the refuge of their Ipods, CD's, or Internet radio for a reason. I'm a female who is over 30 but I'm not ready for a steady diet of "vagina rock" (thanks Fry for this term, which refers to Sara McLaughlin, Tori Amos, etc.). I'm in a desirable marketing demographic but unlike most women my age, I'm not a soccer mom who has lost my youth. I listen to everything from rap to classical to punk rock to jazz and I'm always looking for cool new electronica. I think Jack is dedicated to dudes 18-34 but they're into mook tunes not re-packaged 80's music (e.g. "Let's Hear for the Boy" Denice Williams aaaaagh!!!). I can't wait to see how they'll make this piece of shit float. It's audiovisual time... Just Jack Mehoffer!

Buffalo/Western New York Dictionary

In honor of my pals who are driven crazy by the way people say things around here, the beginnings of dictionary dedicated to slang and mispronunciations perpatrated by residents of Buffalo and Western New York. I often have to ask people to repeat themselves because they have a serious "flat a" accent and lack ennunciation skils. Feel free to add on in the comments section...

Bahflo (Bah-flo): Common way of identifying the City of Buffalo, which is situated in the western end of New York state along Lake Erie.

Dere (Dare): Polish influence has some peeps pronouncing "there" as "dere".

Ennernet (Ehnner-net): Faux techies mean "Internet".

Kinna (ki-na): Equivalent of "kind of".

Ohmygad (o-mi-gahd): Shows off "flat a" sound while expressing dismay and/or disgust at particular situation. Normal English speakers know this as "oh my God".

Prolly (Prah-lee): Quick way of agreeing with another's statement. It's supposed to be "probably".

'puter (pu-ter): Short form of computer.


Sometines (Some-tines): It's supposed be "sometimes" but not around here.