Welcome to (ho) Moes!

Moe's is a chain fast food restaurant that has better quality burritos, fajitas, etc. One of their locations is suburban Buffalo. After an evening of some last minute Christmas running around I decided to grab a quick dinner at this restaurant because the food is pretty good and they serve Coca-Cola not icky Pepsi. I realize that Coke violated human rights in Colombia by union busting and I feel guilty for using their products but when I want a cola, I want one that tastes good. Anyway, standard operating procedure at Moe's is to walk in and the help yells, "Welcome to Moe's!". Whenever Mike Rite and I go, we always say "Welcome to Homo's" at the same time the crew is yelling. Sometimes we'll say "You really blow". Anything for a cheap laugh. No greeting tonight. I walked past two elderly couples who were studying the menu and got in line behind a dude,his wife, and two kids. The wife, an agressive Asian type, had all sorts of issues. Although she spoke English clearly, she was too lazy to read and consequently comprehend what was being offered on the menu. She asked for one thing and then proceeded to change the orders a bunch of times. At one point she interrupted my transaction to fine tune her order for the millionth time. The pimply faced kid apologized while I smiled and said knowingly, "It's not your fault." Meanwhile, her putz husband is standing there with his buckteeth hanging out oblivous to the problems she's causing. The line bunched up as she discussed the various condiments she had on the orders and how much extra they were and whether or not they met the terms of her coupons. By this time I was seething because I hadn't eaten much and I just wanted to shove something in my piehole and bolt. The woman next to me joined in on my annoyance and before you knew it, her husband was punking their shit. To add insult to injury she ordered another item while her husband complained that they didn't ask which type of meat he wanted on his taco. How about you get an order of dickmeat with a side order of spine you fucking douche? Get your shit together. Take Madame Chiang Kai Shek and organize your program. I'm a single, childless chick but here's what I would've done...one parent take the kids and sits down while the other asks for a paper menu. Sit with the family and determine what's for dinner. One parent orders while the other keeps the kids together. As the ordering parent approaches the register, tell the kids to stay seated and help bring the food back to the table. Mom or Dad returns to pick up drinks. I leave fantasy world to close the transaction...as the wife paid, she decided she wanted to throw another taco onto the order. And then she had the balls to ask the kids to decide what kind of cookies they wanted. Hey bitch, they ain't got no cookies or much else in North Korea--choose a kind and tell them to like it or lump it. Such drama for a godamned taco! I grabbed a booth only to see that the dickcheez fambly was heading my way. I muttered "oh no ya don't..." under my breath and was Boltin' like Michael to ensure peace and quiet in another seating area.
Thank God the hellidays are almost over.