Buffalo's Afternoon "Rush" Hour (or Flush Hour as the case may be)

Yes, I'm writing about something that sort of doesn't exist. Real rush hours happen in larger cities with populations that are busting a move for a train, subway, bus, etc. However, I work in downtown Buffalo and like clockwork you can count on the main thoroughfares being crowded at key times of the day. For example the 33 or Kensington Expressway, the Skyway, or in my case Oak St. to the 190 S ramp.


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Picture this--homesquirrel i.e. me didn't have the opportunity to dump at work due to a lack of time or the Oz style County bathrooms didn't provide me with the privacy needed to take care of bidness. So I'm packing some serious fudge... I feel that slow downward descent that's heading for my exit. It's under control but just not super comfortable. I hit Oak St. and that's where the nightmare begins. Nobody knows how to navigate Oak as it approaches the 190S ramp and Seneca St. If you want the 190, your best bet is to stay to the right and allow traffic in the left lane to turn onto Seneca. Of course, no one stays organized, drivers block intersections along Oak after the light turns red, etc. Whenever I've got to download, inevitably there's an accident or jam on Oak St. or the 190 that prevents me from getting to the comfort of my turlet in an efficient manner. This prompts an O.J. Simpson style hurdle as I jump over the cat and run down the hallway to my throne when I arrive at my castle.

There was some smash up derby action at Oak and Seneca, which snarled up traffic as police and emergency crews were called in. If there was audio from my car, you'd hear, "Aw dammit, c'mon! I gotta poo!" I waded my way through the snarl and the volume to finally reach the 190. Drivers don't seem to understand how to merge from that Oak St. ramp onto the 190. Most have this idea that they can immediately merge to the center or left lanes without building up the speed needed to keep up with drivers who are moving at 55 to 65 (if not more) mph. This creates lines as the pussies try to stay in the right lane while the retards make life miserable for center and left lane drivers. Thankfully, it wasn't too bad today. Needless to say I was happy to see my commode but I don't think it was too happy to see me. Puck-ding!

p.s. check out these ridiculous dudes making out as Lehman Bros. goes down the turlet.

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