I Wuz Robbed!

Holy hoodwinked Batman! Home Squirrel got rolled!!! I returned home just before 7 pm and hit the mailbox. I sorted through its contents and found a rather thin statement from my bank. I wondered what was up. It didn't feel like a regular statement, it felt like a fee for some transgression. I opened the envelope and found a grand total that was out of character for my normal banking habits. The amounts listed were numbers that I didn't recognize and I was charged several overdraft fees. I began heating up a veggie burger and sat down at the computer to access my account. I clicked on the largest amount and much to my horror, I found a check with a man's name on it but my routing and account numbers. The check was issued to an out-of-state bank. In the meantime, I had my bank on the blower. I went through automated message hell as I panicked realizing that either a major mistake happened or I was the victim of fraud. They didn't put the fraud hotline number on their message until the very end. How stupid! Nonetheless, I called the number and tried to calmly explain what was going on. As I waited for the customer service rep, I scrolled through the other transactions. Apparently, the douchebag(s) went to several grocery stores, a Verizon Wireless outlet, and motherfuckin' Walmart and either used my digits to get cash or buy things. They also went to something called Sheetz. Call me a stereotyper but from the looks of the Web site, I'm dealing with some serious cracker trash. Furthermore, I learned through my own search that the bank named on the fradulent checks merged with another nearly five years ago. A "hard hold" has been placed on my account. On Monday I'll have to sign an affidavit of forgery. I don't know how this works but I hope that they'll return any money that I lost. All I know is they can take their overdraft charges and shove them up their ass if they even attempt to collect. I don't think they will. I had only one outstanding check and I contacted that person and told them what happened. But I feel like I've been invaded. I need to change all account numbers associated with the bank. My feeling is that either their database was compromised by design flaw or an employee was handing out live account numbers to someone who was slapping them on checks from a defunct bank. Anyway, I'm not sure if I need to do fraud alerts with the creditors or what? Do they have other info on me or just that? Weigh in if you're experienced. I never checked my account everyday. I'd check it often but now that this has happened, you can bet I'll make that part of my routine. If I had done so, I would've caught this a lot sooner.