Parking Lot Drama

So I dropped into Flops Communist Stupid Markets to get a few quick items to tide me over until I can properly get my shop on at Smegmans (loves me some smegs). I grabbed a couple of pasta salads that didn't look too repulsive and some strawberries that are on sale. I paid for them in the express lane where an ignorant smell phone user was utilizing every extra free minute on his smellular plan during the transaction. Although annoying it was no big deal.

I left and traipsed through the parking lot. As I've said many times before, I intentionally park further out because I don't like clusterfucks. I was walking through when a car backed out slowly. The driver was looking to her right but not to her left--where I walking. She continued pulling out not looking. If I hadn't paid attention, she would've hit me. I walked around the front of her car as she continued pulling out and said rather loudly into her open window, "You should look before you drive." Of course, I knew she'd have to get her 10 cents in so I was prepared. She drove by and in her best passive/agressive Baaaahflo way she said, "I did look." Rather than engage her and point out what she did wrong just to hear her tires squeal, I snarled, "Lick me!" and kept walking. I've been so well-behaved lately that I must've had a Pink Floyd "Momentary Lapse of Reason". I wasn't proud or humored by my reaction. I was just so frustrated by her actions. I realized that this broad was trapped in a sea of SUV's and probably couldn't see very well. But on the other hand, you can't see well if you don't actually *look* before you leap!!

So in honor of this half-witted Baaaaflonian schluburbanite, here's some Crystal Myth clues:

1. Park far away from the store. Lots of stuff to schlep to your car? Use a cart. Raining? As my grandma used to say, "You won't melt". Parking further away necessitates walking. Walking= exercise. The good folks in Pueblo, Colorado have more tips.
2. Pull into a spot so you don't have to back out. This sometimes takes some manuevering but it's well worth it. You don't have to worry about potentially hitting somebody or something because your vehicle is in an awkward position.
3. Instead of seeing people as people, think of them as "baloney sandwiches". Thanks to Harry Ballicker's wisdom when we were kids, those keywords keep me focused. If you hit and injure or kill someone, by the time their "estate" is done with you, you'll be eating baloney on white into eternity. Better to be safe than sorry and look before you drive, biznitch!


Class de-smissed!